Your Next Roommate Won't Be Rebecca Black--by Mike Wynn

 The world has changed since I last posted on this blog, and we have all been affected. Through the wonders of Youtube, the amazing Rebecca Black has graced us with the song of our generation, Friday. Seeing as this blog is posted on a Friday, I can only hope that my words can briefly override the repetition of this lyrical masterpiece taking place within your head right now. But why fight against it, when I can work with it?! Thus, through the assistance of Miss Black's song, I want to help you find your roommate for next year.

Gotta have my bowl; gotta have cereal

Do you like to share? Of course not! Who does? As you look for that next roommate, you've got to be on the lookout for the mooch. The mooch is that person who is either always begging to use your stuff or, even worse, using it without asking. If his bowl is dirty, he is gonna take yours. If his is cereal is gone, you better kiss those Lucky Charms goodbye. If his undergarments need washed . . . I hope you get the picture.

Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?

Room setup can make or break a school year. You need a roommate who gets this. For example, the average student thinks it is best to put the desks against the wall. FALSE! It is best to put desks back-to-back, so that when you feel lonely, all you have to do is look up. That's minimal neck strain for maximum human interaction . . . BAM!

Partyin', partyin' (YEAH!)

This is the best part of the song. It's because the interaction between the soloist and the choir demonstrate the truest bonds of friendship. Will your roommate have your back? You better know the answer to this question if a cougar attacks.

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Nobody ever says, "I want to room with Eleanor Roosevelt," because he would be the most boring roommate ever. When you look up from back-to-back desks and your eyes meet, you will either see soulless desperation or the fire of life. I hope you choose a roommate who has the fire. If you choose the right roommate, then one day you could feel just as cool as that random guy who raps in the music video.

By Mike Wynn

Mike Wynn is a Resident Director for the Office of Student Leadership. He is also the star of The Mr Wynn Show. If you would like to contact Mike about this post, you can do so through his blog: http://themrwynnshow.blogspot.com.